2001/03/17, Coliseu, Oporto, Portugal

Written by dead_l_inside@hotmail.com for Dominion mailing list

If you're looking for facts, riffs, set-list and so on, skip this. If it's emotion you want, keep on reading: you might get some.

The title of the review: well, when I was little (read 16 years old) and listened to "Alice", I simply wished I didn't grow up to be that pathetic addicted nerd kind of woman like "Alice", the character. Guess what? God was already in Baltimore so he never replied to my voice mail message ­ no roaming service, I think. So, this "Alice" went to a town she hates to see a band that definitely hates her.

Let me tell you, dearests, I can't stand that Porto city and it's not because of that typical north/south rivalry. I happen to love Braga and Braga is further north than Porto! It's been ages since I haven't had a night as bad as last night (yes, I'm writing in the train back home-sweet-home)! I started being ripped off on the train and it only stopped when I left Aniki-Bobó ­ that's the "innest" place in Porto - and the nightmare finally came to an end. I wonder, being a local, how much did they manage to rip you foreign people off! Disgusting city. The only few good things tonight were the Dominion people I met, the hotel I got (super!), the bathing-tub (I don't have that at home, only shower) and the bath tub I had in it at the end of this awful night, the Sisters gig and - oh!,- the train back home, of course. So let's skip further details and get to business: the gig.

Phantom Vision didn't play because the Sisters didn't let them. End of story. Period.

I arrived late ­ for reasons I dear not saying ­ so I got there after First and Last and Always, at the end of Ribbons. And what is the spectacle before my eyes from the entrance door? A forest! Trees, trees, trees everywhere! Guess what, were they only Goths? No they weren't. I've been in the queuing line time enough to see they were merely ordinary people of my age and older, simply too old to feel like partying at a gig. They just go and watch as it were a play in the theatre: you stand still, you watch in silence and you applause in the end.

Well, due to a lot of previous experience getting my way through packed buses in Lisbon, I managed to break through across that crowd and drag along by the hand a poor Dominion member less used to this situations ;) ­ whose name is kept anonymous for I've put this person in my special witness protection program (hello, America, I missed you guys somehow) for is dangerous to associate with me these days... in, about, say, 5 or 6 seconds? I only stopped when I finally joined the Dominion people in the front and stayed there.

Many times did a certain gentleman from the list try to lift me up but "I have a great view from here, thank you". Besides, I wasn't going to stay on that spot much longer. I can't remember the song sequence at all, but I know it was during "Alice" that our dear Uncle Sister ­ I can mention the name because I know you will not dear to mess around with him ­ decided to start moshing. Really, Uncle, during "Alice", my sacred song? That's a song for kneeling down to the floor and praying "dear God, don't You let become more Alicenish than I am already!" Of course, Uncle doesn't have this sort of existential problems, and, somehow, he succeeded to put some people moshing ­ mildly, thank God, for I really hate that and I'm getting too old too brake my bones (body geriatric, too) ­ and thanks to that I was "thrown" into the 3rd row of people against the fence, which was great.

Of course, I had never seen Eldritch that near and I found out two nice things about him: the guy's as good as he looks on photos (you never know after they invented Photoshop;) and he moves his feet like a ballet dancer (no offense; this is a HUGE compliment coming from me). I couldn't get any nearer, though. For that, I would have to cut the two people's in front of me throats, but I forgot the razor at home, so... It was a good enough spot, considering my height. I was taller than most Portuguese guys, as usual - *sigh* - and sometimes a girl feels really lonely up here. The worst thing was to be "pressed against those people" for a hour or so because some of them really smelled, and they weren't Goths or foreigners, merely Portuguese ordinary people that just stood there, dead and smelling.

Anyway, while Uncle Sister went away with his moshing thing, I preferred to wave at the band. I loved the guitar players. In fact, only now do I know those two new faces. And they deserve to be known. They play damn good IMHO. I hope "he" keeps these two for a change. They seemed nice, too. Adam Pearson even played a little riff ­ yes, Porto folks, that was the word I couldn't remember: riff! ­ when he left the stage in the end, as in a different way of saying goodbye. Don't ask me what that riff was, or even if it was a riff from a Sisters' songs. My musical abilities are very, very limited too recognize a song ­ any song at all ­ from one single riff, or two.

Eldritch was actually singing. At first, at least. Unfortunately, don't know if it was the acoustics in general, the sound system or the spot I was at, so near to the stage, but I couldn't understand a single word of the songs or the things the guy went on mumbling. And he also talked a lot, believe me!

We had a lot of new songs. I guess I was the only Portuguese following the new lyrics. At least, one of the very few 5 or 6 people! And I may be overrating! They didn't even sing the Crash and Burn chorus "Do I drive or am I driven" which is simple enough to follow! But what do you expect? Portuguese can't afford Internet (unless the youngest kids who don't have further expenses yet ­ but they don't listen to the Sisters at all, except those young kids wearing black, you know who), Portuguese don't understand English that well and ­ of course ­ Portuguese don't have access to the new CD yet. Yes, very stupid remark, don't need to tell me.

I would have enjoyed myself more if I could listen to the new songs, especially the new covers, more often. Say, at home, on my stereo? Somebody got me a CD of the York gig ­ thank you so much!!! ­ but I'm sorry for being annoying and wanting to buy the album… (Hey, new comers, this is a joke. There is no new album except in my head!)

What I didn't like, that's for sure, were the medleys or whatever you call it. Especially the Teachers/On The Wire and the Comfortably Numb/Sone Kind of Stranger ones. When you have two perfect songs, it seems they don't get better if you mix them up. That's the price of perfection, I guess. But that seems hard to explain to Mr. Eldritch. Anyway, this is only my humble opinion about music in general.

What else? The sound quality? Next time, come to Lisbon's Colisseum. At least one can understand what the man is saying/singing! The lights? Violet, green, red, white, just like the colours of the pages of the official site. At least they have some notions of that marketing mix concept; that's good.

The gig's atmosphere? Everybody was standing still but people here applause wildly in the end ­ someone told me it doesn't work that way in other countries. A cultural thing, maybe. But we always applause a lot at the end, even after a lot of moshing, so I guess your theory ­ you know who you are ­ is wrong. You should have seen the Offspring gig some years ago! There was moshing, there was applause during and after, there was everybody singing out loud to the songs ­ hum, today I'll need to hear that "Self Esteem" song again - that's what I call a great gig. I didn't see that in Porto. Though I was at the very front, sometimes I turned around to watch the rest of the audience and didn't see that... enthusiasm. Enthusiasm, as you know, is contagious. It didn't get to the front two rows, imagine the rest!!! Not that we could see a lot of the audience, though. Too much white smoke. Maybe on purpose, I wonder? ;)

Eldritch did his best (he wasn't that happy in the beginning) to get the people going, but it was really weird! Although the people on the list did their best. Maybe that was what got him laughing in the end?! Because, that's what is been puzzling me, he seemed quite pleased in the end, smiling and laughing, in fact so pleased that he bowed and bowed and bowed again and "thank you, thank you"... Several interpretations: he could be happy because it was over (the gig, the tour, everything); he could be laughing of a considerable part of the audience dressed in black; he could be pleased to see some foreigners there with him at the last gig of this tour; or maybe he understands our Portuguese way of watching a gig like it was a theatre so he bowed in the end like an actor (this is the naive interpretation, of course).

But I'm still puzzled. No one knew the new songs, no one danced to it ­ I did, of course ­ and even during the old big hits, I didn't see much enthusiasm either! I remember, back in 1991, Lisbon's Colisseum, that Vision Thing almost brought the house down. So much moshing and jumping there was that I had to stay in the middle of the crowd: no way at all of passing beyond that riot. It was wild! And now what? Everybody's too old, I guess. People can't afford to get injured because they have little kids waiting for them at home. It's a very good explanation, considering the age of the people attending the gig. Maybe these people's kids were at that Offspring gig I went to... ;)

In fact, a today's (19/3), - yes, I'm back home- Portuguese newspaper review talks about "entire families" watching the gig! ;)

But some people actually sang to "Something Fast", when requested. I guess these people need to be told what to do. I remember, a long, long time ago, Bjork (still with the Sugarcubes, imagine that!) trying to teach a Portuguese audience what to do during the gig. That was a laugh. She gave up in the next few years and gigs to come. :)

But the man is funny, I give him that. He actually made me laugh. I saw him getting down to ask the security man (you should have seen that guy, looked like coming out of "Pulp Fiction"!) to step back, so that the lady (I guess it's the usual lady) could film from a certain angle, but the man didn't understand a word, and this went for a while, until the guy finally got it and stepped aside and Eldritch waited for him to turn his back to shoo him with his hand, but with a most embarrassed laugh like "oh dear, this guy was supposed to be protecting us, not standing in the way and ruining the show", and I guess that got on film too.

Now let's go "Vogue" (or, what happens when a certain girl with a taste for fashion comes to the 3rd row in the front): the guitar players don't dress that well. They should talk about this stuff once in a while. Because they're not very classy, I'm afraid. Hey, I'm blunt as usual! But Mr. Eldritch… Wow! First outfit: black leather (?) trousers and something black underneath something white. It seems he had a white leather (?) jacket that he took off after the very first songs but I simply can't remember (too many drinks and pills to tell me that the world's OK have ruined my memory completely), though I could swear he was wearing a dog collar (?!) type of thing around his neck. Why? Who knows? My dog had one of those! 8-o

Anyway, it all seemed to work out with the stylish way of dressing Mr. Eldritch has got us used us to, when I looked at his boots with panic and terror: light brown raw (?) leather (?) boots (?) ?! Tss, tss... Too country. Never thought that such a so well dressed gentleman like Mr. Eldritch would do a mistake like that: those boots, shoes, whatever, simply didn't go along with the rest! Those boots need a grunge look to go with: blue jeans, lots of sweaters and the typical squared flannel shirt! Well, second outfit: I can't remember. Final out-fit: all dressed in black, with a long striped (it seemed squared to me, but someone told me it was striped, well, who cares) orange and yellow and other nuances of some earth like hot colors. In Portugal, we only wear a thing like that during the summer. We call it a "summer jacket". Very distinctive, indeed. By then he had lost that dog collar (?), thank God! But the boots... Not those boots, please! Mr. Eldritch needs someone to tell him that if he's going to change outfit that many times, he needs a change of shoes/boots as well, or he should restrict to black footwear. Everybody knows that. Ask my mother, she knows that! Black goes with everything! Raw leather boots don't!

Too many fashion mistakes as a whole, but Mr. Eldritch seems to get out of it OK, if you don't look at his feet. Details like that are important for a rock band that praises its image so much that is even creating a new one! Learn from Madonna, for God's sake! Get a fashion adviser!

I hope those boots were actually white and what I saw was simply a trick of the light, which was pink at the time. Yes, that must have been it. ;)

Now, what about that dancing thing? I was petrified! I'm sure the anti-Goth paranoia must have kept Mr. Eldritch and his people very much away from Peter Murphy's concerts. Well, somebody should warn Mr. Eldritch that Peter Murphy has been dancing like that for 10 years now! That is not going to help the band getting rid of the Goth tag at all. Remember how the press associates things. One day, someone will notice, like I did. And they'll be calling it post-Goth-dancing, I warn you! Or is it simply the way middle age British gentlemen are dancing nowadays? ;)

In my humble opinion, both dancers suck: Eldritch and Murphy. I preferred the 1991 experience: a rock star running around the stage and singing and waving at the audience. BTW, the dancing, back in 1991, used to be far more sexy! So I know he can dance properly, because I've seen him "rock'n'roll". I liked that. Don't like this. But again, it's only a stupid opinion, anyway.

Now that I'm at home I can come up with serious conclusions (I know that you won't believe me because I'm always joking but I'll speak seriously now):

I don't know this band anymore. This was not the band I saw back in 1991. Even the old songs aren't being played the same way, but that's called progress. Only now am I starting to get a glimpse of the whole picture - catching the train, as we say here ­ but I'm miles away from grasping the entire idea. I've been away too long. Better still, the Sisters are away for too long. Most people think the band is over.

Only a few of us informatically enlightened have access to the new songs. I know the band wants a new image but I'm not sure I know what this image is, or even if the band themselves know what kind of image they want. One thing I tell you, though: they're not succeeding. The present image is too incoherent. Worse, it's unknown! Maybe that's why a new album doesn't come up. It would take a whole lot of work (and focusing) to achieve the right target. A new target. Maybe the band isn't ready yet for such a... distress?

Anyway, let's say I'm just arriving to the "fast moving train" and I beg for your patience. After this gig, I already began to understand some previous postings through a different light. I'll catch on, some day.

Remember the question about why Eldritch didn't like a certain type of people? Well, no wonder, I guess that kind of people is a black stain in the new image.

In fact, since I'm more enlightened now, let me tell you it was painful to be in that gig, and even more painful to enjoy it. I'm hurt, I seriously am. Since I died inside very few people can hurt me but the Sisters of Mercy really did. It's painful to feel unwanted because of the way that you dress. Which is totally ridiculous. I could care less what Eldritch is wearing nowadays or before! I like the old songs and the new songs. The new "image" songs. That's all what I care about. I think that is what the band should be caring about too, but I may be completely wrong. I guess I am completely wrong.

But I'm sure that the day the band acquires a new audience, all this will seem as ridiculous to the band as it is to me. The question is: will the band ever reach another (a new) audience? Do they need or want to go through the grief of another studio album? But if they don't, all this change in looks, and even new songs, it all seems quite worthless.

(now back to the usual style)

What can I do? I like the new songs as well. That makes me still a fan. So the band doesn't like me? Well, non-corresponded love is the worst and the largest piece of bad karma I've been having on this life. I must have been a bitch in the other incarnation. It's only fair. ;)

Should I begin to follow Marilyn Manson instead? I can't. I'm too old now. His fans are all teenagers. I won't get a boyfriend there. And I don't appreciate self-inflicted mutilations.

Since I'm a Christian, should I join the real Sisters of Mercy? I don't look that bad as a nun... ;) No, I can't. I'm too much of a party person to die away inside a convent. Better to be killed right here in this very list.

Should I dress in colours? No can do. I'm too old to change that as well. I already found out what suits me best. Vanity, lads!

So I'll guess it will come the day I'll not be allowed to enter a Sisters gig. That's bad. And it hurts. Especially when it's your favorite band.

I need my drinks and pills to tell me that the world's OK and I need it now. Left the pills in Lisbon, I'm afraid. It will have to be drinks.

After the gig we gathered at a place where they run out of beer, and the real tragedy began. We had to find a decent place with more beer, super-expensive, from which we were kicked out at 5 in the morning. That was the "inniest" place in Porto and they're still stuck in drum'n'bass, as all the bars we passed through! That's "out" in Lisbon since, say, the mid 90's? So, "where am I? Did I space travel on that train to Porto? I must have!" I wasn't drunk enough to go to sleep right away and I was really mad that I had left my sleeping pills at home when, alas, I found out that I had brought them all along! Good. One for the ride. Sandman is coming.

I was tired, warn out of any energy whatsoever ­ too much sightseeing ­ and psychologically shattered. All I wanted was to sleep, so I went to bed and fell asleep as soon I closed my eyes. Five seconds later ­ I'm sure it was hours, but I didn't notice it ­ the doorman phones me. It's time to wake up.

Man, I hopped out of bed, picked up the stuff and ran to catch the first train out of there. Mission accomplished.

To the people that I met in Porto only (the rest of you, close your eyes):

I apologize to the Dominion members in Porto for leaving without saying goodbye (you don't probably know but it's very VERY rude in Portugal, although you foreigners do it all the time everywhere, so...) but I was too distressed to stay in that town one minute longer!

Now I can explain you guys the glove you saw me wearing at the café. I have a very nasty looking bruise on my right hand and I didn't want you to see the band-aid and answer to questions like "what's that", etc, so I guess I tricked you by pretending Gothic purposes. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get. In fact, that afternoon I regretted leaving the other glove in the hotel, because it was starting to get quite cold (for me, at least).

Hope we can meet again in Braga or Lisbon or some place closer to Portugal.

And I solemnly swear, and it's written right HERE, that I won't put my feet in Porto again ­ unless the Sisters return - and if I do, I'll lock myself in the hotel the whole time until the gig, simply immerse in a bubble bath the entire afternoon while playing with a rubber duck. No more "night outs" in that city for me, thank you. But I'll join you in a café for the usual chat, at least until everyone's too drunk to chat, me including.

So, isn't anyone going to say "Alice, don't give it away?". Or the absolute opposite?

Written by Pedro Morcego (lead singer of Phantom Vision) for Nightbreed Recordings press release

About the concert with The Sisters of Mercy, I have a long story to tell you. This story is a sad one, and I would like to see it spread across all four corners of the world, namely everywhere connected to the Goth / Dark scene.

The story is the following: All was in fact booked and publicly announced for the concert to take place. On the day of the concert, in the afternoon, as we reached the place where the concert was supposed to happen , the organization promptly hid us, saying there was a problem with our performance in the show. In fact, we were told that if Eldritch saw us dressed in black, he wouldn't let us play with them. He despised and didn't acknowledge any connection with people dressed in black, and he couldn't stand even hearing about the Goth scene. It was immediately suggested that we wore white clothes, in that way they, being fooled, would perhaps let us perform. Throughout the day, all kinds of reasoning were tried so that our concert could happen. But, eventually, Eldritch demanded through his Manager to hear our CD, which was promptly sent to him. However, there was some caution in removing all pictures. The truth is that, after he heard it, Eldritch decided in a dictatorial fashion: "No! They can't play with us!".

The organization, as a last argument, referred to the fact that all of the audience outside who was there to see them (about 2000 people) was wearing black, and had obvious connections to the Goth scene. To this the "star" answered that that audience he has to put up with, because it is them who still give him the money, but his despise for that crowd was such that he asked for the stage to be continuously smoked during his performance, so that he wouldn't even see those people he hated so much. This matter took sometimes ridiculous proportions, due to the fact that when someone in black passed in the corridors, the people who were with Eldritch covered his eyes so that he wouldn't see people like that.

We, obviously angered, not just in the name of the band, but also in the name of all the people here and everywhere in the whole world who liked and like The Sisters of Mercy, and whom Eldritch was at that moment publicly despising, as well as all of the Gothic movement which he renounced nauseously and which he had once strongly represented, we started a huge campaign with the media, with interviews, enlightenment's, etc., which in three days time turned us into National Heroes in this issue. We were in almost all of the national newspapers.

The Country is shocked with the attitude of The Sisters of Mercy and is revolting against it, and we are right now, in a way, the symbol of that rebellion. The day before yesterday we were live on television, on one of the shows with the highest ratings in our country exposing the case, that so much interest has had at this moment in the country. Our album was publicly divulged in front of millions of people who were watching the show live.

What I think above all is that if The Sisters of Mercy don't identify themselves with their audience, then this audience shouldn't identify with them anymore.

Thanks to Christian Pommerening for forwarding this.

Written by Annica Hekate (annica.hekate@mail.bip.net) for Dominion mailing list

Dead Inside, although very long, I found your review both informative and entertaining and I was even there!

> Well, due to a lot of previous experience getting my way through packed
> buses in Lisbon, I managed to break through across that crowd

I perceived it as if people were afraid of touching each other, standing with at least one decimeter in-between (just as in Spain last summer), so it was actually quite easy to move through the crowd. I only did it once though and before the show actually started. But I couldn't feel anyone standing close to me at the front during the show. Very different from the rest of Europe.

> I was "thrown" into the 3rd row of people against the fence, _ _ _
> I couldn't get any nearer, though. For that, I would have to cut the two
> people's in front of me throats, _ _ _ The worst thing was to be "pressed
> against those people" for a hour or so because some of them really
> smelled, and they weren't Goths or foreigners, merely Portuguese ordinary
> people that just stood there, dead and smelling.

Oi oi... but was there really any pressing!? I only remember getting slightly bumped towards the fence three times or so. Normally you have elbows in the sides, the fence pressing on your ribs, some tall guys leaning over you from behind with their arms waving in front of your face or their elbows pressed into your shoulders, while the whole crowd moves from side to side and people jump on your feet. It was very calm in Porto!!

> Portuguese don't understand English that well

But I was impressed with how everyone seemed to understand English!

> Everybody was standing still but people here applause
> wildly in the end

The cheers were echoing all through the Coliseu's big, beautiful hall.

> Because, that's what is been puzzling me, he seemed quite pleased in the > end, smiling and laughing, in fact so pleased that he bowed and bowed and > bowed again and "thank you, thank you"...

It's been done after each show all through the tour.

> the security man (you should have seen that guy, looked
> like coming out of "Pulp Fiction"!)

Even though they were very eager to keep/get people out of the venue, I think of them as good security as they had water bottles for people at the front.

> First out-fit: black leather (?) trousers and something black
> underneath something white.

Yup, the tight black polo-neck with the equally tight, white top over it.

> I could swear he was wearing a dog collar (?!) type of
> thing around his neck. Why?

???? Dog collar?! And this was neither the "neck flap" from the jacket nor the polo-neck? I must've missed this.

> Final outfit: all dressed in black, with a long striped (it seemed
> squared to me, but someone told me it was striped, well, who cares)

I think it was some sort of geometrical pattern in vertical lines.

> orange and yellow and other nuances of some earth like hot colors. In
> Portugal, we only wear a thing like that during the summer. We call it a
> "summer jacket".

It was absolutely hideous and looked like a suit jacket - just imagine the whole ensemble!!

> So the band doesn't like me? _ _ _ Should I dress in colors? No can do.
> I'm too old to change that as well. I already found out what suits me
> best.

Aha, but I saw you wearing colors and very "un-goth" clothes during the day!! ;-)

> And I solemnly swear, and it's written right HERE, that I won't put my
> feet in Porto again - unless the Sisters return.

I thought it was quite all right in Porto - it might of course be a lot nicer in other Portuguese places, I wouldn't know.

Written by Stuart Czuba (stu@czuba.freeserve.co.uk) for Dominion mailing list

The place seemed half empty at the start of the gig but looked pretty full when the lights went up at the end. Space to swing whatever you wanted but the only movement I saw was from the support act and Adam (straight after he was in hit in the face by something fairly large, still don't know what or where from though). Another sizeable missile appeared during the main set, leading AE to rattle on for awhile about grassy knoll's, trying harder etc. Good setlist, didn't really miss Giving Ground at all (sorry Robin) and they really milked Romeo Down for all it was worth. Comfortably Numb is always a welcome treat and made up for missing it earlier. Lovely Joseph jacket for the encores too.

Experts are currently deciding if Sven's nipples really do need censoring or not.

Written by Elizabeth and Manda (booies@ashtray.co.uk) for Dominion mailing list

We survived the disinfectant at the airport (ooh nice). No trouble finding hotel or picking up tickets from venue (thanks DI). Things were going well (pauses) things kept going well (faints). Even made it to our usual spot at the barrier (cue theme from tales of the unexpected). Waited for support band... kept on waiting for support band... oh!... no support band. Were selfishly pleased as this meant we got a longer than usual set.

We loved the home crowd (ole ole ole ole sisters sisters). Stonkingly good show. Witnessed the phenomenon of Chris removing THE shirt without the aid of surgery. Even managed to catch (one handed no less) the complementary drink from Andrew, and most refreshing it was too (you could fuel a plane on the strength of it).

About THAT jacket it's not fair jealous jealous jealous we hope Andrew realizes this means war, he's going to need those shades one day.

Rachel and Nick, nice to meet you both, Robin, pleased to see you again, Dave, we didn't know you were there, everyone else, we really missed you.

Written by Sven Togni (togni@pandora.be) for Dominion mailing list

Crowd was a disappointment. A lot of people there but I only saw 3 people moving, Speedy, Robin and me. But all 3 times the Sisters went of stage they went completely mad and they made noise for a couple of hundreds of thousands!

Funny story: On the plane home the next day they played Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow during the flight. We waited for Andrew to appear, but it sadly didn't happen ;-)

Hello and thanks to all there: Simon - Speedy - Robin - Stewart (+?) (let me know about those pics!!) - Hugo - Francesco - the guy we slept at (and all those I might have forgotten).

Written by Verónica Crisóstomo (berecrisostomo@yahoo.es) for Dominion mailing list

So, back from Portugal. It was absolutely worth it, both the gig and the after gig (We drank all the beer they had at Valentinos and had to go somewhere else to keep drinking!). Loved meeting some of you, guys. I'll get around developing the pictures soon. And, Robin, are you out there? I may have one to blackmail you with! ;-)

Security was dammed tight, there were policemen at the door, and I didn't want to risk their "confiscating" my camera. But I saw someone around the 6th row or so taking pictures during the gig. Probably some Portuguese goth... ;-)

Someone else will review the gig for you all, I only want to say that the Coliseum was packed and the audience was very gothic indeed. Still, Von smiled a lot, and it looked to me like he was enjoying it.

Ticket and flyer scans provided by Stuart Czuba (stu@czuba.freeserve.co.uk).